Grab the device your child uses and twenty minutes. This is a tool-by-tool checklist for a first-pass audit of the AI safety settings that matter most — and understanding what each one can and can't do.

Here's the promise: in about twenty focused minutes, you can do a first-pass audit of the AI settings that matter most on the tools your child uses — without becoming an AI expert. (A full setup across several devices can take longer, especially if you need passwords, account linking, or app updates; this gets the highest-value controls in place first.) That matters because right now most parents can't. Common Sense Media's 2026 research found that 58% of parents know little or nothing about the safety features in the AI products a teen might use. Not that they've opted out — they don't know the settings exist or where they live.

One idea to hold the whole way through, because it changes how you talk to your kid about it: these settings are guardrails, not surveillance. Most of them limit and filter; almost none let you secretly read your child's conversations, and that's by design.

First, settings are one layer, not the whole solution. The controls below reduce risk; they don't replace the conversation about how AI works or the open door that lets a kid tell you when something goes wrong. Parents and kids alike say they want clear safety standards and privacy protections from the companies themselves — settings are your part of a shared job, not the entire job.

Second, do it with your older child, not behind their back. For teens especially, framing this as "let's set these up together" protects trust — and the tools are built that way anyway, so you're a guide, not a spy.

Seven stops. Each is a few checkboxes. Do the ones that apply to your family and skip the rest.

Stop 1 — ChatGPT and other chatbots (about 4 min). Start with age and account ownership. OpenAI says ChatGPT is not meant for children under 13, and teens 13 to 18 need parental consent. So the first check: whose account is this, and is your teen on their own age-appropriate account rather than an adult's? If your teen has a linked account, OpenAI's parental controls let you set quiet hours, receive limited safety notifications, reduce sensitive content, and manage features like image generation, voice, memory, and model-improvement. Verify these — and know the limit: no system is perfect. Crucially, OpenAI is explicit that parental controls do not let a parent read a teen's conversations. Tell your teen that — it's the difference between a control they accept and one they route around. One honest nuance: either the parent or teen can unlink the accounts, and parents are notified if a teen unlinks. That's exactly why the trust framing matters.

Stop 2 — Google and Gemini (about 3 min). If your child uses Google's Gemini assistant, the controls live in Family Link, and access depends on age and region. Google says parents can enable or disable Gemini Apps for supervised children through Family Link; access is being released gradually and isn't available for supervised accounts in the EEA, Switzerland, and the UK. Google also warns filters aren't perfect. Check whether Gemini Apps are enabled; turn access off if your child is too young or your family isn't ready; explain it plainly ("Gemini is an AI tool, not a person to confide in"); remind kids filters aren't perfect; note availability varies.

Stop 3 — Device and search controls with Family Link (about 4 min). For a child's Google account on Android, Chrome, or a ChromeOS Chromebook, Family Link is where the device-level guardrails live: manage which apps are allowed, set screen time, filter content across Chrome, Play, YouTube, and Search, and turn on SafeSearch (on by default for signed-in users under 13 on Family Link-managed accounts). Check apps, screen time, SafeSearch, and permissions.

Stop 4 — Apple Screen Time, if your child uses an iPhone or iPad (about 4 min). Apple's tools aren't strictly "AI," but they govern the apps and web access through which AI reaches your kid. In Screen Time (ideally locked with a separate Screen Time passcode): schedule Downtime, set app limits, choose allowed apps and contacts, use Communication Limits, and manage Content & Privacy Restrictions for app installs, adult web content, and purchases. You can also turn on Communication Safety, which gives on-device guidance when sensitive photos are detected — Apple says it doesn't get access to those photos or videos.

Stop 5 — Smart speakers and Alexa (about 3 min). If there's an Echo or Alexa device in the house, the Amazon Kids Parent Dashboard is where you set age filters and screen-time limits, review activity, manage content, and control which Alexa skills are available. Amazon is clear the dashboard is not a substitute for parental involvement. This stop matters most for younger kids, who often meet AI first through a talking speaker.

Stop 6 — Social and companion AI apps (about 3 min). The stop most audits miss. For a lot of teens, AI arrives through apps they already use (like Snapchat's My AI), dedicated companion apps (like Character.AI or Replika), or bots inside Discord. Settings change too fast for step-by-step instructions, so work from a checklist: check which AI/chat/companion apps are installed; check each app's age rating and the age on the account; turn off public profiles or discovery where allowed; review privacy and data controls; decide whether companion-style AI is allowed in your family at all; and for teens, talk openly — settings don't turn an AI companion into a safe confidant.

Stop 7 — School devices and accounts (about 2 min). Many kids meet AI through school — a district Google account, a Chromebook, Microsoft Copilot, or a school-approved platform — where your home settings don't reach. You can't configure those yourself, but you can ask. Copy-paste this to the teacher or IT contact:

End by telling your child, in your own words: "I set up some safety limits on the AI stuff, the same way I would for anything online. I'm not reading your chats — most of these don't even let me. If something ever feels off, come tell me." That single message turns the audit from something done to them into something done for them.

Ages 3–6. Your whole audit is really the smart speaker (Stop 5) plus your own presence — at this age AI use should be with you, not solo. Set the Amazon Kids or equivalent filters, and don't rely on them to do the supervising.

Ages 7–10. Family Link and Apple Screen Time (Stops 3 and 4) do the heavy lifting: app approval, SafeSearch, screen time, and content filters, with use kept to common areas. Chatbot accounts generally aren't age-appropriate yet.

Ages 11–12. Focus on device, search, and app-level controls (Stops 3, 4, and 7). Most chatbot and companion products are 13+, so this is the age to keep device and search guardrails tight and to check what's already installed (Stop 6).

Ages 13+. Now the chatbot and companion stops matter (Stops 1 and 6). If a teen account is allowed, set it up as a teen account, turn on reduce-sensitive-content and any teen controls, and keep device rules in place. Shift from configuring to collaborating: do the audit together, explain the controls can't read their conversations anyway (and that they could unlink them), and treat it as shared expectations rather than lockdown.

📎 Free download: "The 20-Minute AI Settings Audit" — a one-page printable checklist with all 7 stops, the school email, and the sentence to say.

You don't need to understand how AI works to make it safer for your kid — you need twenty minutes and a checklist to do a solid first pass. Check the account age, turn on the controls that exist across chatbots, phones, speakers, and school accounts, and say the one sentence that explains why. Come back for the stops you didn't finish. And keep the frame honest the whole time: these are guardrails, not surveillance. That's what makes them something your child accepts instead of evades.

This article is general guidance and is not legal, medical, or mental-health advice. Settings change often; confirm current options in each company's official help pages. Disclosure: AI by Age is run by people who work in AI and build AI-related products. We take no AI-vendor sponsorships or affiliate payments. Full disclosure on our About page.